bidding farewell to the old year, welcoming the new. conventionally, it's a time for reflecting on the year that is now past, and to lay down aspirations for what is coming.

truthfully, it's been a difficile year, and i marvel at how i've managed to weather all that has crossed my path. to emigrate from what was so familiar, and to be thrust into what is so extrinsic, was the hardest move i had to make. the affairs of the heart have been too complicated to mention, and i thank god it's all over. i guess the nan trip has generally brightened up the outlook of this otherwise bleak year, and has also given me an opportunity to straighten out my thinking, in the absence of all things that bother me back in singapore(and perhaps abroad).

in the new year i resolve to be more organised, and have more discipline over my own life. i resolve to make days where i wake up to find myself in a tangled ribbon of discombobulation things of the past. that's my only resolution, and that is probably enough to occupy my for a year.

interestingly enough, the trip to nan has somehow calmed my soul, and now i find myself ignorant to love. albeit unfair to so many people in so many ways, maybe the list of people i have hurt will finally stop growing. but then again, we're not given a choice in the game of love. everyone plays, and it's a bloody world where "game over" does not exist. i guess i can only resolve to learn how to handle my love affairs more gracefully.

and all that fills me with yet more dread for the comming year.

scribbled
10:38 PM